Christmas decorating at Brooks

I took Ivan to school and then made my way up to Brooks.  It seems to be my new routine, but it is one routine that I will be happy to change when my dad is cleared to return home!  By the time I get there at 9:15 he has already had breakfast, speech therapy and occupational therapy. I was setting my camera up to determine the best place to get a family picture when my dad wheeled over to the camera and said 'cheese'...of course I have no problems taking a picture with him!  Then he heads into physical therapy where everyday the therapist just look at him with complete awe over all that he can do in such a short time period.  ALL the therapists, not just the ones that are assigned to my dad.  It is pretty neat to see how my dad gives them hope and encourages them to continue working hard, because it does make a difference, and he is the proof.

After spending the morning with my dad, I made my way towards Ivan's school, a little earlier than usual so that I could watch his Christmas performance.  It was so adorable! Ivan was one of the three wise men.  I am grateful for the love and dedication poured into my Ivan by Mrs. Liz,  Mrs. Sharon and Mrs. Martha - they are great!

Then as the sun set and evening hit, it came with some cooler temperatures and a lot of emotions. What my family has had to endure has brought about positive things in our lives, that all of us would be willing (at this moment in time) to forego if it just meant that Dad could be back to his normal self.  But don't let my encouraging, uplifting blogs cast any doubt as to how difficult these days are for us. There are many trying times, but my dads accomplishments far outweigh the difficult moments we endure.  He can't even begin to understand how far he has come or how incredible it is that he has made so much progress in such a short period of time.  But we can see it.  I do believe that my dad will overcome this.  Nothing has ever been easy for him but that has never stopped him.  If anything it has made him work harder.  This afternoon was his first follow up appointment - just about a month since his surgeries.  Let me just remind you that the doctors told us, as he was hooked up to machines and in ICU that it would be quite a while before he walked, and that he would probably not comprehend or understand things and that he would probably never talk.  If he did talk it would probably be a year and maybe only a few words.  Every times the doctors would say 'if' then my mom would say 'when'...she corrected them a lot. Today they informed my mom that the swelling on his brain was still there and that they could not yet put his skull back in.  They went on to say that my dad might not walk again, and that what he says now is probably all he will say, that we shouldn't hope for much more.  I know doctors have to be realistic - but stop and look at what he has done in this short amount of time, stop to look at the fact that he is doing things you didn't think he would ever do, and then DO NOT say in front of him what he will 'never' do again.  That was very discouraging to my dad, he has been working so hard.  It was discouraging to all of us. Meanwhile, we were all gathering at Brooks so we could set up a tree and decorate it for his room.  He definitely wasn't in the spirit for that but we stayed anyways.  I told him that he needs to listen to the doctors and therapists at Brooks who see him every day. Rebecca and Uriah were passing out Christmas gifts since they will be heading to Oregon tomorrow and my dad picked up the card, and it looked like he was reading it but couldn't say the words and he got really upset and started crying, we all told him it will come back in time and that we just have to practice.  Most people at Christmas gatherings pass around chocolates and cookies, we were passing around a Kleenex box.  It hurts all of us in a different way, and the powerless feeling and intense hurt ....it sucks. More than a few nurses have commented on his progress.  One even stopped tonight after we had all left to tell my dad not to lose hope, that he is a strong man and that the doctors don't have the final say - God does.  My heart is hurting tonight.  I love my dad so much and the last thing he needs now is any discouragement. I still believe he will make a full recovery.

 On the way home we heard this song on the radio.  It is so hard to believe.  "The more broke you are the more the light gets through...." Others have told me I am an inspiration during a time that it feels like all I am doing is moving through the days, trying to keep it together and keep going.  I know this is part of a bigger plan, that I can't comprehend at this moment in time, but I do trust that God will reveal bits and pieces when I am able to understand it. In the mean time, I will continue to show up and be there for my dad (and my mom) because I love them so much!