How to Live in Fear

How to Live in Fear

Mastering the Art of Freaking Out

Written By Lance Hahn

Book Description

Find freedom in an age of anxiety.

Let’s face it: we are afraid. Our world is riddled with fear-inducing headlines, financial meltdowns, family crises, and phobias of every stripe. No wonder the New York Times now reports one in ten Americans is now taking antidepressant or anxiety medication. So how do we cope or even succeed in a world spinning out of control? As someone who has battled panic attacks and anxiety most of his life, Lance Hahn can relate.

In How to Live in Fear, Lance tackles the pervasive problem of fear and panic head-on by inviting readers into his world. In this genuine and practical book, he invites readers into the life of a pastor living with anxiety disorder. Through humorous personal stories—like losing it on an airplane or collapsing onstage as he is about to preach—Lance will win over readers with his transparency. He will also share the remedies that have helped him recover and overcome throughout the years.

How to Live in Fear is a public intervention of sorts. We need to talk about this issue, especially the church-at-large. Millions of people suffer from anxiety disorders, and the church has done little to make them feel normal. Many Christians now take medication privately but keep it a secret under the shame of being viewed as a failure. Lance willingly bares his soul in order to get the conversation started. He firmly believes the church should not only recognize the issue, but also help believers reconcile the guilt of being a Christian while dealing with dread and anxiety

Filled with practical tips and advice, and full of relevant scriptures, How to Live in Fear gives readers the tools to relax in the face of fear—real or imagined. Lance will show readers that while he may still encounter bouts of panic, he has never let his disorder stop him from living a full life.

My Thoughts

Being somebody who struggles with these things,I was very intrigued by this book.  I requested it during a moment when I was feeling particularly frustrated and it arrived so quick.  Lance is very open in his book and goes into detail about the struggles he has faced, where he was, what he was doing and how it impacted his life.  It was nice for me to be able to hear about how somebody else struggles, it made me feel not so alone in my own struggles. I like the fact that he pulled a lot of scripture into the book.  It was just scripture to encourage and tell us to keep going, but scripture examples of how others struggled.  The book was separated into three main parts: Living in Fear: My Story, Living in Fear: Our Journey, Living in Fear: The Journey with our Father.  Lance asked some of the same questions I do, "why me Lord."  He felt some of the same feelings I have and described it in such a similar way, "the darkest hours(s)."  This book held my attention right to the very last page.  My husband and I read it together, it served a two fold purpose, I could relate to what he was saying as I live with similar struggles, while at the same time giving my husband a glimpse into the struggle.  The book ends with practical ways to "master the art of freaking out."  It is very encouraging and even includes a great prayer for times when we simply can't find the words our self.  If you suffer from anxiety or panic or if you love somebody who does, this would be a great book to read.

8 Simple Tools....

8 simple tools for raising great kids

Dr. Todd Cartmell

foreword by Jill Savage

Overview

"I love my child, but parenting is hard."

Whether you find parenting intuitive or impossible, we could all use a hand here and there. Let child psychologist and father Todd Cartmell walk you through the nuts and bolts of healthy, effective parenting.

Using examples from his home and 20 years of professional practice, Todd gives eight essential and practical tools to help you:

                                         Maintain a healthy relationship with your child
                                         Develop a nurturing home culture
                                         Correct behavior in lasting ways

Well if you are looking for a short, but enlightening read that is also enjoyable - this is the book for you!  I must say it feels good to tell you all that I just completed a book with 39 chapters, in less than a few months!  Ok so there are only about 190 pages in the book but I think it sounds pretty cool to say, "I just finished reading a book that was 39 chapters!" This book went into great detail on eight main topics.  Some of the topics included listening, encouraging and leading. I like the way the layout of the book and the insight to be gained in each section.  I also liked the fact that they gave you tips at the end of each section - so for the section on listening, each chapter ended with listening tips that you could try with your children.  It also provided a few deeper questions for you to consider, if you wanted to take it to another level. Being that I am keeping up with household responsibilities and spending time with my husband and boys, I really liked the fact that these chapters and sections were short enough to read through without losing your train of thought or getting interrupted in the process. I know I have room for improvement when it comes to raising my boys and this book gave me a lot to think about!

Under The Sea Holy BIble

Book Overview:

The Under the Sea Holy Bible, NIrV is a perfect gift for children ages 6 to 10. Themes of underwater fun and sparkling fish grace the interior of this wonderful children’s Bible. The outside is covered in foil and sparkle. The interior has color inserts featuring whimsical underwater scenes with themes of God’s care and love for each of us and all of creation.

My thoughts:

I enjoyed reading through some of my favorite bible passages in this bible.  I also enjoyed sharing this with my two boys who are five and eight.  They liked the color inserts within the pages of the bible. I would recommend this book to younger children - the cover is beautiful and definitely would grab their attention, and of course whats beyond the cover is what makes it so golden.  I felt like there was a good balance between the sea life without it taking attention away from the bible. My favorite insert was the love passage for kids...based on 1 Corinthians 13, it is a picture of two whales and it breaks the verse down to their level without taking from it!  

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review from Flyby promotions.

This is Awkward

This Is Awkward  

Written By: Sammy Rhodes

Don’t waste your awkwardness.

The most difficult subjects in our lives are also the ones that we find most uncomfortable to talk about: divorce, body image, sexuality, pornography, or depression. Our awkward silence reveals the gap that exists between what we are and what we know we should be. But God loves those awkward moments, Sammy Rhodes argues, because they are precisely where we find connection with God and one another.

In This Is Awkward, Rhodes talks directly, honestly, hilariously about the most painfully uncomfortable subjects in our lives. In chapters like “Parents Are a Gift (You Can’t Return Them)” and “The Porn in My Side,” he boldly goes where most of us fear to tread, revealing that we can be liberated by the embrace of a God who knows the most shameful things about us and loves us all the same. Because nothing is too awkward for God.

My Thoughts:

This was a good read. Some parts were harder to get into than others. One thing I did like about this book is that you could pick it up and read any chapter. The chapters don't necessarily build on each other. After looking at the table of contents, I will admit I skipped right to the topics that seemed to relate to me on a personal level. After that I went back and started at the beginning. It was hard to get into because each chapter seems to start with him telling you about how difficult it is to write. Once you get to the writing of the topic of that chapter, its good. However, with most chapters starting that way I could see where it would be difficult to want to keep reading. Overall I would say this was a good read, just took a little longer because it didn't quite capture my attention like some other books do, but it did tackle subjects that you don't usually hear much about.

Brooks Challenge Mile 2016

Where has the time gone?  

I haven't blogged in what feels like forever.

Today was an amazing day so I figured I would share some thoughts with you all.

Today, 113 days after my dad's stroke, a stroke that doctors said would render my dad unable to walk or talk....yes, 113 days since THAT stroke, my dad signed up and completed the Brooks Challenge Mile. He walked it.  He walked it on his own, well with a bunch of us walking with him.  He walked it without any type of external devices.  This was the 6th year that Brooks has hosted the challenge mile as part of the festivities surrounding the Gate River Run.  I was browsing the Brooks facebook page one evening a few weeks ago when I ended up on the website and reading about the challenge mile...I started messaging my brother and sisters and mom and asked them what they had planned for March 12th....they were all a bit baffled but said nothing....I told them I would come over the following day to tell them my idea.  I thought it might have been pushing it, signing my dad up and doing this such a short time period after his stroke.  He agreed so we went for it!  

Finally March 12th arrived...and we had to wake up way too early, and get signed in and to the event....then wait for what seemed like forever for it to actually start, but once it started, I felt for that one mile stretch that I wasn't part of this world.  At least not in the sense of ready, set, go....win, win, win.  I like the way the Brooks Rehabilitation Challenge Mile described it so I will tell you there purpose behind it...."The Challenge Mile is not meant to be a competitive race, but rather a way for people of all ages and abilities to celebrate their personal accomplishments. " This is not a race, this is not about who finishes first, this is not about personal achievements, this is not about the medal, this is not about personal gain, this is all about celebrating the accomplishments that so many people take for granted.  It was very overwhelming to me to see so many different people in so many different places in their life but all, in one way or another tied to Brooks... some still in the Brooks Rehabilitation hospital, some like my dad who have gotten out and are still working hard in therapy, others who are seasoned pros at being differently-abled. 

I saw determination. From the little guy who looked to be no older than 2 or 3 to the elderly gentleman who had to stop every few feet to take a break to the middle aged man who pushed forward and each step was challenging to the middle aged guy with no hands and wheelchair bound who completed that mile in less than 30 minutes to the woman who was pushed by her family to the woman who was relearning how to walk. I noticed that determination looks very similar no matter the age of the man who possesses it. 

I saw amazing love.  I saw unconditional love. I saw unfailing love. I saw people who love beyond what the world can see.  I saw people who loved beyond the way the world defines the intense feeling of deep affection.  I saw generational love. At one point I was behind what looked to be a grandmother, mother and daughter. I loved watching the way they each held on to the one they loved and walked with her every step of the way.  

I saw smiles.  I saw tears. I saw joy and heartache, and struggle and success all in one mile. 

I heard loved ones encouraging the people they were walking with.  I heard wives telling their husbands to just keep going, that they could do it.  I heard a care giver telling a young man to take just one more step.  I heard a lot of clapping and cheering coming from the people who were near the back of the crowd as those who had made the turn and were already heading for the finish.  

In one mile, I was reminded of just how much love there is among family. Most of the people participating in this challenge mile did so with the assistance or care of loved ones who were walking with them every step of the way.  I saw how Brooks Rehabilitation Hospital encouraged my dad when he was going there and as the volunteer in charge on our bus said, "You are part of the Brooks family now, welcome to the family!"  We had an amazing volunteer leader....she has been in my life since 9th grade!  She took some of these pictures I am using on this blog with my camera, and tonight she shared this with us that just seemed so fitting - "Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck, illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can."

Being somebody who struggled with physical issues in high school, I longed for a place to fit in.  I wanted to run track and play basketball. I wanted the medals and trophies, as some kind of accomplishment to look back on.... but my joints didn't allow me to compete with peers that were my age.  I can't tell you how amazing it is that this Challenge Mile exists, and that within that mile, you fit in, no matter what you are dealing with or have been dealing with, no matter if you can walk or run or be pushed, you belong. Age doesn't matter, height doesn't matter, how fast you are or how slow you are doesn't matter. At some point we come to realize that what can be recorded on paper or preserved in a medal or trophy, fails in comparison to what our heart learns from walking this difficult road of not fitting in...but hey - I finally got a medal!

 I was so happy to see my dads physical therapist from when he was at Brooks Hospital come and see him.  My dads face definitely lit up when he saw Michael and Vince!  I love the way they see my dad and are genuinely happy with how well he is doing. 

I really like this picture of us walking.  Its a great representation for me about what life should be like.  We should walk beside each other no matter how difficult the terrain we are to traverse. We are not guaranteed any day or hour or moment with those we love.  I will never forget the knock on my door the morning of Saturday, November 21st, 2015 ....my sister just said, "something happened to dad, the ambulance just left with him."  I remember sobbing in my husbands arms and just saying that I didn't want him to die.  I love my dad so much, we connect --and we understood each other and our relationship had really grown a lot in the months leading up to his stroke.  I get sad when I think about the things I miss from before.  I get sad when I think that he will never be how he used to be.  But then I look at this picture, everything looks so 'normal' if you didn't know our story.  I will always walk beside him, encourage him, offer some water when he needs it, a snack, a ride to see his brother....because when its all said and done - people remember you being there for them.  They remember you walking beside them when their reality sucks.  

#WeAreBrooks

Oh what a week...

I have been slacking lately.  It has been a week since I blogged any real update.  It has been crazy and hectic and scary and we are still trying to find some kind of routine.  Last week was a tough one for my mom and dad.  It seems depression made a comeback at perhaps the worst time. (Although there is never really a good time for it.) My dad struggled and is still struggling.  His progress has been amazing but he isn't as far as he wants to be.  He thinks he should be further a long.  A few nights last night he decided he wasn't going to take his medication.  One night got particularly bad and we were all trying to convince him to take his meds for close to three hours.  In that same time frame my mom briefly passed out or something, either way paramedics were called.  I will admit I was angry at my dad for stressing my mom out.  I hate seeing either one of them upset.  I had to step back though and remind myself that it was really depression, it wasn't my dad.  It was depression using my dad, it wasn't my dad.  I know that he would not have said some of the things that he did, but that depression would.  Just as we see cancer as something separate of the person, and not their fault....how could I see depression any other way?  He doesn't want us to go away, depression does.  The depression is not him. It was a perspective shift.  Being somebody who struggles myself, it gave me a glimpse from a different angle. Anyways, the next morning my mom ended up in the hospital where she stayed for observation and additional testing. Thankfully, all her tests came back good and an MRI revealed that she has some tears in her rotator cuff, which most likely caused internal swelling that gave her the feeling of pressure in her chest. My dad was very sad when he saw her in the hospital, we all were.  She kept saying she was worried that she would go to the hospital and that it would be nothing and we would all think she was crazy.  I kept telling her we would all be relieved to know she was ok.  I am grateful that it was nothing worse. 

We have been trying to keep my dad busy as best as we can.  He and my mom did a painting class with my sister and brother in law this past Saturday.  We took him out Saturday during the day to pick out some flowers and a card for my mom for Valentines day. He is getting back into his therapy schedule.  Yesterday he was doing so well in speech therapy that they worked with him a little longer. He has homework that we work on at home with him.  And walking and arm exercises and trying to send messages to his brain that his right arm is still there.  Today we went to see my uncle, and my dad got a big smile on his face when he saw that he had shaved his head, similar to how my dad always did his!  They sat and talked for a good half an hour or so.  Actually my uncle did a lot of the talking and my dad did a lot of listening.  Today in the Transitional Care Unit of Shands it felt like a dark day.  I was standing listening to them talk but I was hearing everybody elses story too.  It was like one of those slow motion moments where everything is so loud and nothing is really slow.  I heard about one guy who was on a motorcycle, just leaving after having made funeral arrangements for his father, his back tire was sorta shaking back and forth and the next thing he remembers is waking up in the hospital.  Apparently he landed 25 feet away from his motorcycle.  He was crying today.  Another guy was trying to get a girls number in a car at a stop light, the next thing he knew the windows of the car went down and they opened fire with automatic assault rifles - he was shot twice in the head, three times in his leg and two times in his arm.  He sped off to avoid any more shots and wrecked his car.  His best friend was in the car with him and died. Yet somehow he survived, he is able to stand.  He still has quite a bit of healing but he can stand and he can talk and he can wheel himself around the rehab gym.  They motorcycle guy told the bullet guy, "The big man upstairs was looking out for you too."  Then there is another guy who.....somehow in the midst of their trauma they look out for each other.  The connection they have is different.  In some way or another they are all broken.  They compare injuries, length of time in the hospital, and always, ALWAYS are quick to offer a word of encouragement to each other.  I stood in the midst of that room wondering if this is really a field of work I could go into.  Today they were all pretty down, and life had dealt them a hand that gave them every right to feel the way they did.  Yet in the midst of their pain and tears they were encouraging others. My dad was ready to go, and so was I.  It felt like my energy was being completely depleted.  It was like I could feel their pain and their hurt and it was very intense.  On the way home I tried to convince my dad to go visit with Mr. Pogany and we agree on 'tomorrow.'  

Upon arriving home I went to the DMV with my little sis, trying to transfer my dads tag from his truck to a van that he had bough one month before he had his stroke.  He wanted to fix it up and sell it.  With the truck going down, and my dad always being there to help the 'new' guy....well one of those guys were able to come back and repay the favor.  He was so happy to be able to do something to help my dad that nobody else could.  He fixed the van - water pump, radiator, complete brakes, calibers, rotors, valve stem on one of the tires and gas cap....he did this at cost for my mom!  So today was the day we finished it up - got a tag on it.  We thought we could do it but they explained they needed him since his name was on the title. This might have presented a bit of an obstacle as he told me all morning about everything he can't do....We stopped back by the house and  I told him he could have lunch with grandma and I would be back to pick him up around 1:30 so he could go to the DMV with me.  We sat in the DMV for an hour and twenty eight minutes....it took exactly two minutes and $4.60 for them to do what we needed them to......meanwhile my mom had snagged Seth and he was hanging out with her in her classroom.  

I told my dad we would have to go get Seth, he didn't want to go in the school, it was about 40 minutes after dismissal.  I knew there wouldn't be a lot of people but I also knew he was nervous about going in and being around people, some of whom have not seen him since before his stroke.  This was way out of his comfort zone.  I finally convinced him to go in - he walked the long hallway and the two flights of stairs and another long hallway before walking into my moms classroom.  I think she may have been a little surprised.  My moms team teacher came down just to say hi to him.  He started trying to talk to her and he go frustrated and started to get sad.  Today seemed to be a more difficult day for talking than what other days have been.  I told him it would a short visit and I didn't want him to get too upset in front of her because I know that would have made him more upset.  We headed out the door to get the boys home so they could finish homework.  As we were walking down the hallway I could see tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.  I hated the fact that he was getting upset. I encouraged him that all this would come back in time. As we took our final step down the flight of stairs, God intervened and somebody who I don't even know, a teacher at my moms school who has been following my dads story online, happened to cross our path.  She looked at him straight on and said "You are amazing!  I have been following your recovery on the internet and facebook and you have an amazing support and amazing family.  You have made so much progress, keep working hard.  You are amazing!"  My dad said "thank you, bye bye."  He gave her a hug and as she turned to walk away I noticed tears in her eyes!  She has been inspired by my dad.  My dads entire attitude seemed a little brighter from that moment on.  His shoulders were back, he was looking up.  I can't tell you how much it means to me that Ms. Iryna Conway was bold and stepped up to tell my dad how amazing he is. She nurtured a human spirit that was in great need of encouraging. What she provided, what she gave, in her words....is the greatest thing we could have asked for today.

So much of the afternoon was 'off'....the DMV wait was long and the long wait put me late to get Seth which meant having to go into the school to get him from my moms classroom which meant a lot of convincing to get my dad to go in....but had all that gone according to 'my plan' then he might not have been given that dose of nurturing to his spirit that he greatly needed.  

I often times wonder what somebody would say at my funeral, and if there echos would find me where ever my soul was....but the longer I live, the more I realize the importance of speaking life and love and encouragement to others....don't wait - as cliche' as it is - it still holds true - life can change in an instant and we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Is there anything you would want to say to somebody today, that if they died tomorrow, would leave you feeling sad that you didn't say?

Oh yeah -- I spent the ride home telling my dad how PROUD I was of him for pushing through the fear of going into the school and going into the DMV and getting the car registered.  I told him how PROUD I was of him for getting up today, even though he didn't feel like it.  I told him that his life is an inspiration to people he doesn't even know.  I told him he has to keep trying.  I told him he has to keep practicing.  I told him we still need him.  I told him I would get him a chocolate milk shake for how great he did today!

The Comeback

The Comeback

Written By: Louie Giglio

We all know what it feels like to have life disappoint us and not work out as we’d hoped. We all know what it’s like to long for something different, something better, something more.

The Comeback celebrates new beginnings. It offers encouragement and perspective, and it’s for you if you feel frustrated or confused, if you’re sorrowing or in pain, if you’ve made mistakes or are grieving, if you’re disappointed or feel as though life doesn’t make sense.

The good news is that God is in the business of giving fresh starts to people. He gives hope to the hopeless. Direction to the directionless. Help to those who need help. God is always good, all the time, and God’s plans will always prevail, even when our plans don’t.

God already knows what the solutions are. No matter what kind of disappointment or grief or pain or trouble or heartache you encounter, God always offers a new beginning, a change of heart, or a powerful spiritual turnaround. God offers the way forward, and his pathways are always good.

Your current circumstances will not get the final say in your life. God is the God of the comeback, no matter what kind of challenge you’re facing.

And your story can become a great comeback story too.

My Thoughts:

A must read! This book is amazing!  I received in exchange for an honest review from Booklook bloggers.  I love hearing all the comeback stories of individuals who Louie Giglio has met on his life's path.  It was encouraging to hear about how others overcame the challenges and obstacles that were being placed in their life. I love hearing how things worked out in situations that seemed beyond repair.  I was hesitant to read it when I heard it would be a compilation of other peoples comeback stories but I am so glad that I stuck with it and read it through to completion.  I highly recommend this book.  The last comeback story in this book, is my favorite comeback story.  

Nourishment

Nourishing the human spirit is so important, and people remember that well into old age and even when they can't remember anything else.  They remember the people who were consistent. Today my dad and I went to Shands to see my Uncle.  It was kind of neat to see my uncle and my dad both working together during my uncles speech therapy!  They talked about the game, and seemed happy to be around each other.  Heading home, we got stopped by a train where my dad tried to grab the wheel and convince me to just drive around the railroad cross things that were down because a train was coming.  I told him we couldn't do that, it wasn't safe. It delayed our arrival home but we made it home in one piece!  Just about the time we walked in the door I got a call from my mom that the elderly gentleman my dad always used to visit, bring his paper, his coffee, and just spend time with him, was not doing well.  Some time ago he was moved into a nursing home.  He and my dad have a special connection.  The nurses said he hasn't been eating and all he has been asking for is my dad.  The past month I have been trying to convince him to go see Mr. Pogany, even going so far as to drive him down there and sit in the parking lot hoping he would change his mind and go in.  My mom has done the same thing.  Today when I told him that Mr. Pogany wasn't doing good and just asking to see him, my dad said 'no no no'....I told him that he was all Mr. Pogany had and right now he needed him.  So he said ok and we jumped in the car, before he had a chance to change his mind.  Its no surprise to me that once there - it was just what my dad needed - as much as it was what Mr. Pogany needed.  They are good for each other.  The nurses were so happy to see my dad, they all had been told that he had a stroke and they were amazed by his recovery.  They kept telling him that he is a miracle.  Mr. Pogany kept telling my dad that he was a good visitor and that he was glad he was doing better and that he was so happy to see him.  The way they each lit up, just being in each others presence - was pretty cool to witness.  It really drove home the importance of just being there for others. All anybody ever wants is to know that they are cared about and loved and that doesn't have to be shown with elaborate gifts - Mr. Pogany doesn't miss what my dad brought him or did for him - as much as he misses his time with him.  Begs the question, how many people would miss the time you spend with them?  Or are we so wrapped up in the day to day life and struggle that we don't make time for others?  We bring gifts and meals but when the dust settles and the food has been eaten, all that remains is time.  (Consistent) time spent with somebody is priceless, as was proven to me today. Mr. Pogany doesn't remember any thing, but he remembers my dad.  My dad spent time with him.  My dad made him feel important.  My dad made him feel loved.  Mr. Pogany is 93 years old.  My dad is 52 years old.  An old man, a young man - and life's greatest lesson! ( Tuesdays with Morrie)  No matter what storm you are going through in your own life, make sure you make time to spend with those you care about, because when its all said and done that is what is remembered.