Friday, November 27, 2015

Oh what a day....

Some days just seem harder than others.  Today was an anxiety filled kind of day.  A lot of things could be contributing to it but I started reading about strokes this morning.  I probably should not have spent so much time, on the Internet reading about strokes.  I can't get over how much alike me and my dad are - same heal problem, joint issues, and mental health concerns.  It is terrifying to me to think about what the future holds, but my husband keeps telling me one day at a time, don't worry about all that.  Seeing dad this afternoon was good for me, he has the nose tube out and looks a little more like himself.  My Seth woke up at 6:30 this morning and one of his first questions was, "When are we going to the hospital to check on Grandpa."  It has been so sweet to see their love for him, I'm grateful that they are learning that you have to be there for your family, no matter what!  Also on a side note, my Seth does not like elevators at all, but he has overcome and bravely gotten into the elevator everyday for the past seven days, and sometimes he has done so multiple times a day!  That is huge for this guy of mine!  Ok, anyways, back on track....asked Dad to smile for the camera today - was pleasantly surprised when he did - its a beautiful thing to me!  The next picture is what he has been holding on to, he is currently not able to lift his arm because of concerns with his scar on his head becoming infected, but he did have a firm grip on this little cross that my sister had given him.  Every day that I see him alert, is a good day!  He also had to have a feeding tube put in and is running a low grade fever, but he will overcome this!  I have no doubt.  My dad is a fighter. 

The later part of the day proved to be a bit more difficult.  It was as if a 24 year chapter of ones life was coming to a close.  While my dad hasn't worked for a while due to some other struggles, the reality really hit when we were moving his toolbox tonight.  He has worked at Sears for so long, I remember growing up we would always go in at the auto center entrance, with the hope of seeing dad!  We would look through the window and watch where he worked on cars.  We looked through that same window tonight, but we didn't see him working on cars, we watched as his toolbox was disassembled and loaded up to go home.  My heart broke for my mom.  I am glad that her sister was there for her  My husband said my dads toolbox had been there for so long that when you pulled it away from the wall, you could still see the outline of it. His toolbox had a lot of our pictures on it.  It was like a walk down memory lane.  In the lobby, by the window where we always watched him was something he signed - nice to see his name. When we came home the guys had to take the drawers out of the toolbox, because this was close to 30 years worth of tools.

As the guys took all the drawers out of the toolbox, to lighten it enough to lift out of the truck, we kept an eye on the boys to see where they were and what they were doing.  Looked around and saw that they were playing in Grandpa's toolbox.  Ivan sat and looked through this one drawer, Seth was looking at the stuff from a distance, but Ivan was definitely interested.  I look forward to the day that Ivan and my dad are looking through this stuff together.

 I love my dad so much.  I love my mom so much.  They are both fighters.  
We will get through this together!

1 comment:

Rachel Van Deusen said...

Nonie Austin Marasco - Vanessa, thank you for sharing Rachel's blog entries. I have read quite a bit and have learned so much about your family that I did not know. I knew you were special but it is in the difficult times that our true strength comes through. I am so sorry this has happened to your dad and that all of you are affected. Your strength comes from God and the support of each other. Hang in there as you are in this valley. There will be better times ahead. Your dad is blessed to have the rest of you Evans as his biggest support group. Praying for you and your family.

posting here for sake of printing for dad one day!