I didn't think I was going to the hospital today. I love my dad and have not missed a day going to see him since all this started. But I also needed some rest. Facing my own mental health challenges, keeping a routine helps and my routine has definitely been off. I will remain a constant in his life during this new road we are learning how to walk down. Even during the times that he is ignoring me. Yes, when he is done with the mental exercises and physical exercises he puts his hands up and pushes us away or else he closes his eyes, waits for you to sit down and then does a sideways look where he half opens his eye just to see if you are still looking at him. If you aren't and the tv is on he will watch the tv, but if you are still watching him he will go back to closing his eyes. He is fully aware of what he is doing. You can see the frustration in his eyes when he looks at his right arm and right leg. I tend to have a never give up attitude. If I have committed to being there for you, if I love you and care about you, then I never give up on you, its who I am - it is my story, it is my song! Today when we got there physical therapy was coming in and Seth got excited and said, "I want to see this." Both Vaughn and Seth stood and watched, we all did and cheered him on while he did his exercises. They were practicing sitting and standing with my dad. He was able to move his right knee back, like the therapist was asking. He practiced standing for 2 minutes and sitting down and then standing up and the physical therapist said that it seemed as if he might be putting some weight on his right arm and shoulder which was a good thing. The doctor who had come in earlier saw some movement in his thigh on his right side. Every time I am with him we work on moving that right foot. Since I never give up, I keep talking about how his toes work and how he can move the foot and how it all still works. Telling him that he is going to walk again. I don't quit until he starts moving his foot. I wonder sometimes if he gets annoyed by me doing this, but oh well, gotta get him walking again! Today Dennis and Vaughn were working his toes and showing him they still work until he started moving them on his own and then we all started clapping and cheering for him! It is amazing to see the progress he has made. I know he is frustrated. I can't wait for him to get into Brooks and start getting therapy more often, so he can feel more progress.
Don't ever give up on somebody, you might be the hope and encouragement they need to keep going. Physical illness or mental illness, a broken bone or a broken heart, everybody just wants to know that somebody cares. Don't wait to see if somebody else steps up, be there, show up, let them know you care -- because you might be the only one doing it. Sometimes knowing whats going on and knowing how somebody is handling it all is like two separate ball games....just be there...don't ever give up.
I love my dad.
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