Friday, October 23, 2015

A horse named Leo

This is what peace looks like to me:

"My human friend came to play, should I eat my human friend?"  I love his teeth!

This week has been a bit challenging.  My shoulder hurting has been a major bummer to me. I have cancelled plans this week and didn't make it to bible study, just didn't feel like being around people.  I got a text yesterday from a friend who told me she went out to check on the horses and that the one I have kind of bonded with, Leo, had a limp and that the first thing she thought about was me.  She knew I have the whole shoulder thing going on but seemed kind of strange how she would think about me when she sees the horse limping.  She called the vet and basically, I forgot what its actually called, but its the human equivalent of a shoulder issue.  Today seemed like a good day to go visit with him.  I missed my time with him on Monday because of a doctors appointment to get my shoulder looked at.  I have to say, as nice as it is to start my week with him, its equally satisfying and just as rewarding to end my week with him too.

I can't wrap my head around how this horse brings me so much peace and a total and complete inner calm, always just when I need it. Today when I got there I started cleaning up their little area, and he was following me around and kept nudging me until I put the rake down.  Was God moving through the horse to tell me not to do that so as not to hurt my shoulder any more?  Heavens knows, enough people have told me, but I am a little stubborn!  So I put the rake down and squatted down and this sweet little horse came and nestled his head into my shoulder, the one that is hurting.  It's almost like he knew exactly where I was hurting while I was with him.  Its a very strange connection.  I spent the rest of my time with him purposely moving just to see if he would come back to me.  Ok, that wasn't constant but I did do it a few times just to see if he really wanted to be around me!  I think sometimes I do this with people to, I doubt they want to be around me or have anything to do with me so I kinda separate myself.  The horse always came back so it was a great confidence builder, maybe I can transfer some of that confidence to people.....

This amazing connection can not be explained as anything other than God at work.  The fact that He would work out every detail of my life, right down to a connection with a horse who is experiencing pain, similar to what I am feeling --- is mind blowing, spine tingling and very encouraging.  And its not just about my life either, Pam has had to work so hard every step of the way with her non profit  and here I feel like I am reaping the benefits of her hard work.  I guess as Mark Batterson said in his book Primal, "A blessing is never a means to an end but an opportunity to bless someone else."  What Pam does with these horses, and allowing me the opportunity to spend time with them is a perfect illustration of that quote. 

My time with Leo today, when I have been feeling so discouraged got me thinking about when I was little.  If I wasn't feeling good my parents would always have me lay down on the couch and they would bring me whatever I needed or wanted, to make me feel better.  I remember my dad would buy me Sprite. When I would feel discouraged, they would do anything to try and lift my spirits and make me smile.  I had the radio on as I was leaving and heard a song by Chris Tomlin, "Good Good Father."  Just as my father (and mother) took care of me when I was younger and feeling under the weather, from whatever sickness was going around...its almost like my time with Leo is God tending to my mental illness struggles and healing my soul, as a "Good Good Father" would....He knew I needed this horse, long before I did. 

I have included a link to the song if you have not heard it.  One part of the song really brings words to this situation for me, without having the words to say......"...I can hardly speak, its a peace so unexplainable..."

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