Sometimes when I can't sleep, I sit and think. Sometimes that can be dangerous. Sometimes that can be good. Depends on the day, err...night. Sometimes people get stuck on my mind, can't stop thinking about them. Tonight I was going through 238 GB worth of pictures and came across the Vacation Bible School pictures from 2012. Among those pictures, were a few of Ms. Patty that made me smile. It's weird sometimes to look at a picture of people interacting, (most of the pictures I take, I do so candidly) and yet the knowledge that one of those people is no longer with us makes the hurt ever present but it also feels surreal. Like the end of the Sandlot movie when they fade away the players at the final game and tell you what they went on to do. I wish there was some synopsis of what those who have gone on before us, went to do. We are left with a mystery, we know they are in a better place, but what are they doing?
That was the summer I started going to bible study. I saw Ms. Patty in passing around the church but never really knew her. I would get to know her better when I started going to bible study on Thursday mornings and she would watch my Ivan. She had quite the impact on my Ivan. She was able to get him to not cry when I would drop him off for bible study and he would tell us, "Jesus loves me. Ms. Patty told me at church." When I look back at these pictures I see Ms. Patty in a picture with Tina, who is one of the ladies in the bible study group. It gives me chills to look at this picture, its like I see Ms. Patty fading but she isn't. She is still alive in my heart. Her memory lives on. I guess it just wakes you up to the reality that nothing here is lasting....we are all fading...the question is are we making memories that will live on in the hearts of others when we are no longer physically present?
I have heard this song before, as I am sure you probably have as well....makes me think about many others who have gone on before me.....never felt more homesick than now.....
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