What a day it has been. I feel like every time I turned around I was met with something full of irony or something that turned into some kind of deep thought about something totally un related.
I went to the doctor yesterday because of some pain in my arm and back, come to find out something is going on with the tendons around my rotator cuff....this is a tad bit terrifying to me because I have had rotator cuff surgery on my other shoulder and it was a difficult surgery to recover from. My prayer is that rest, muscle relaxers and a few weeks will have my shoulder feeling good again.
I am not a big fan of rest. I find my calm in going, be it going for a walk, going to run with horses, going to help somebody with yard work or going grocery shopping with my grandma. For me, calm is found through some kind of physical activity. Rest and Rachel are just two words that shouldn't be used together. I figured I could go for a walk on the beach, nothing too strenuous about that.....
It seemed a bit windy when I got to the beach this morning but nothing was going to hold me back from taking a walk....the wind was at my back, it almost felt like somebody was gently pushing me forward. "You can do it, keep going, look up, look back, look where you have been, look where you are going, look how far you have come, you can do it, press on, keep going." With the wind at my back I felt very confident. I could walk for miles feeling like this.
And then I had to turn around.
Now the wind was against me. The resistance was great if you wanted that extra push on your morning jogging routine. Every step seemed difficult to take. It felt like it would take forever to get to where I needed to be. I felt like I was taking one step forward and being pushed back two. I started doubting that I would ever get to where I needed to be. I had to turn my head just so I could take a deep breath because the wind was so intense. But just seconds earlier, this same wind was pushing me along,
Why do we do this to ourselves? We can be going in such a great direction and then for whatever reason we decide to turn around....be it back to old ways or old habits or a path we've been down before and know isn't good, or maybe people who aren't a good influence. It can seem as though we have it all, and then with one simple turn, it can all be gone.
What used to be working with me, to push me along, was now working against me, pushing me back. But yet they were one in the same, just from a different perspective. Is that how God works? When we are on the right path and going in the right direction He is there, He is our strength, He is what keeps us going? And yet I have to wonder if its also God when we turn around too? Trying to tell us to get back going in the right direction?
Both circumstances helped me in some way, sometimes just looking at things from a different perspective makes all the difference. The same wind that comforted me in one direction, felt like great resistance in the opposite direction. Life can be the same way sometimes, in fact most times. God seems to be the constant that sustains us, when the wind is at our back and also when we are running against the wind.
From looking at these pictures, you see the beauty of the ocean and the sand and the waves and the sun and the clouds, but what you can't see is what makes all the difference in these pictures to me. These pictures were taken this morning, walking with the wind at my back and then also running against the wind.
We don't always see the opposition that others face, from these pictures it seems like it would be a nice walk on the beach. Just like some people appear so calm and like they have it all together, but the battle within can be just as intense as this wind was in these pictures, even though you can't see it. Remember, in most cases, there is more to a person, there is more to a situation than what meets the eye.
No comments:
Post a Comment